Swipe right on financial transparency: Debt and dating in 2024

As fall quickly approaches, it signals the end of the fun and flirty summer. The season of pumpkin spice lattes, cooling temperatures, and leaves changing color all kick off the beginning of cuffing season. That means the season when the desire to date with intention becomes even stronger. 

Those flying solo know that dating can feel like a sport. As you swipe right and left on dating apps, make your search more effective by focusing on questions that help you understand how compatible you and your potential mate might be. 

While alignment with politics and shared hobbies help you bond, you also want to go for the real questions about your money situation (and theirs). To be more specific: your debt and your credit score. 

In Season 5 of the reality show Love Is Blind, Stacy essentially dumps Izzy for having bad credit. When it comes to courtship, money matters. Not necessarily how much of it you have, but how you handle what you’ve got.

Dating in 2024 is so expensive—especially with the cost of living on the rise. Talking about debt and credit scores early on has become a bigger priority than ever before. 

Here's how to bring up matters of debt and credit with tact and grace while you’re dating.

Talk about your values—and your financial priorities

You don’t have to fire off an intense round of 20 questions to your potential partner about their credit score, income, and tax bracket. Important info? Sure. A bit inappropriate? Yes. 

Nobody likes feeling interrogated. Instead, talk about values. What's most important to you? Being comfortable, being stress-free, enjoying the good things in life, having the option to make choices, taking time off work?

Be upfront that it's important to you to be with someone who cares about their finances, and be prepared to explain why it matters. Maybe for you, being in a financially sound place with a clean bill of money health equals freedom, security, peace of mind, and opportunities. 

We all have a money story. Share yours.

Maybe you've worked really hard to clean up your own financial act, and it took you many years to improve your credit score. Maybe you've endured being in the throes of debt fatigue, and felt the stress and anxiety that often come with deep debt. 

Or maybe you grew up in a chaotic household where there was never enough money, and debt collector calls were a thing.  

Dish out the real deal. Get to the heart of the matter. The truth is that being on top of your debt repayment strategy can mean you're reliable and goal-driven in general. Interestingly, some studies reveal that credit scores can serve as a sign of how trustworthy someone might be in other areas of life. Paying off a long-term debt shows commitment through thick and thin.

By being open to sharing your story, you can build trust and help your date feel safe to share openly about their own beliefs and money experiences.

Timing is everything

As you get more serious about your relationship—and your lives and finances mix—you'll need to talk about the important stuff. To make sure you're on the same page money wise, here are some questions to ask: 

Dating days: the early getting-to-know-each-other stage

• What does success look like to you?

• How much is enough for you to feel comfortable financially? (Ask for a specific number, and how they reached it.)

• What’s the best way to plan for vacations? 

• How do you both want to go about paying for dinner and nights out together? 

Relationship “official”: the “I love you’s have been said + you’re ready to take the leap towards a life together” stage

• Have you thought about household finances and whether you’d keep separate bank accounts, a joint bank account, or both? 

• How much debt do you have and how are you tackling it? 

• How’s your debt health?

• What’s your credit score?

• If your credit standing isn't where you want it to be, what are you doing to improve your score? 

Remember, financial issues are a leading cause of divorce. So set yourself up early for long-term relationship success. 

Debt and dating in 2024 require finessing sensitive topics with someone you might not be committed to yet (but might want to be). To make sure you're financially compatible and enter a healthy, long-lasting, and committed partnership, you'll want to ask the hard questions. Talking to your partner about money is something to start early and continue throughout the relationship.